The World in a Night (a view from a sink)

Today has been a day to say the least. It all started this morning when I awoke from a deep slumber. Now you you must be thinking "You just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, it's no big deal" normally I would agree but I wasn't even in my bed. I woke up on the wrong side of a strangers bed, the worst kind. He said, "I'm glad your awake, now you can leave." I was mortified, so I collected my things and bolted for the door, and to make matters worse I tripped while running to the door so it was a less than graceful exit; I can just hear my mother yelling "Born to dance," in her shill condescending tone. I thought to myself it is still early and I still have time to turn this day around. So I got some coffee from Starbucks and went back to my apartment to collect myself and clean out. I got home and it was at this point that I realized that I had left my underwear at his place; they were my favorite pair so I actually wanted them back. I begrudgingly called him after I spent an hour finding his number under "guy with lisp"; he said that I was being really needy and I should stop pestering him so I said, "I just called so I can get my stuff back." Like an asshole he replied, "Please they all want a repeat performance, but that's just not my thing," and he hung up. I decided that all was almost lost and I should take a nap before anything else could go wrong. When I woke up I felt better and then my friend Christina called and said," How was your night last night, you were pretty wild, so how was he?" I broke into tears and told her the whole story. She felt terrible and told me that we were going to go out tonight with everyone to end the week on a better note. We went out for a nice meal at NOLA cafe where I had a nice bowl of gumbo. After dinner we walked next door to Moon Under Water and started drinking. All was going well until a few hours went by along with about eleven drinks when my friend Tom said, "So, Barbara I heard you had a crazy night last night," Christina shouted, "Shut up! we are not going to talk about it." The problem was the damage was done all I could think about was "guy with lisp" and his look of disgust when he saw me in the morning; a girl never forgets that. I ran to the bathroom in tears, but there was someone in the stall so I sat in the sink. I had not realized at this point that I was in the men's bathroom. So I thought to myself, "Jesus Barbara, what else could you do wrong. The bartender came into bathroom to see if I was alright. It didn't help that the other patrons of the bar gave me really odd looks when entering the bathroom. One kind person came up to ask if I was alright, but I couldn't even answer, but I did talk to Christina. He said,"She is really going through a moment, is she going to be alright?" Christina (that bitch) said "Her whole life is a moment," so the truth finally came out, that's what she thought of me. I busted through the door after getting helped out of the sink (of course I got stuck) and said "I am leaving someone take me home, no not you Christina someone else who appreciates me." Tom drove me home after feeling terrible for bringing up the subject. So hear I am diary telling you of the awful things that make up my life when I am not here safe with you, no one loves me the way you do. I hope you never leave me or run out of paper.